Truth boxxxx,

Just put my Truth Box back up this afternoon and surprisingly there were like 10 new messages.
One of them said :
" you're fat :) "
HAHAHAHAHAH idk what to think about that. I know I'm not fat and I'm not anorexic either so I can't really tell what this persons trying to imply, haha. But saying someones fat is supposed to be rude I guess? But then they put a ':)'? So what. That makes it a nice remark? Hahahaha that made me laugh though.

"I miss talking to you. I think you might have forgotten about me."
OH NO NO NO! This is one that really got me. I never take these up the ass cause random people just write in it, some I don't even know, but this.. I have a feeling I know this person really well. And its killing me because I just can't figure out who it'd be. But first, I never ever ever eeeeeeeever forget ANYONE I meet. Period. Cause honestly, every single person that has walked in or out of my life has made a difference. No matter how big or small, its still a difference and if you know me, you'd know its true. But there's really no way that I would forget anyone. Ever.

1. I don't miss you anymore! Coincidence?
2. Our first hug in monthes was on Friday.
3. I'm glad I know I can trust you even though we just met.
4. Can't figure you out.

All over the place,

I've been everywhere. Up, down, and all around but never home. I miss being home now but besides sleeping I'm only home a few hours in a whole day. Even on weekends I've been gone. Sometimes it even feels like I don't see my parents enough, heck.

Yesterday was fun. After school Daniel, Bianca, PowPow and I went to the Americana and had L&L. Then we met up with Sarah, her little sister, and her friend Charice who's btw the cutest girl ever, haha. Had some good talks and Daniel makes the weirdest faces ever no kidding. 'Specially when he impersonates ______ :DDDDD Daniel went to meet up with the other Daniel and PowPow was going to SF so we said our goodbyes and the rest of us girls went shopping :) I ended up getting a shirt, a dress thing, and a jacket from XXI and Urban. Mmmm met up with the boys for a little while then they went laser tagging. We walked around more and just had good talks and stuff. I finally saw Steveo again<33 Then my mom came and we all went to Barnes and Noble to get me books haha and then I dropped them all off.

Octobers going to be a craaaaaazy month but I'm ready ready ready!

Saturday (today): Saba's house
Sunday: Piano, hw
Monday: NO PRACTICEEEEE!
Tuesday: Practice 3:30-6:30/ Andrea's Birthday
Wednesday: Practice 3:30-6:30
Thursday: Rally practice 30 min :)
Friday: Rally and Football game!
Saturday: COED practice/ Dentist/ _____

And the thing that makes me the happiest is knowing that I don't care anymore. Well, I can't.

Firstdayoffall,

it's great.

btw, my mom saw ashley tisdale in michaels today.

Blog:

my thoughts through words. Ha for you lurkers or whoever.

Today consisted of: Getting sick, Yogurt and granola for breakfast, Project Runway, AP Euro, hwhwhw, Breaking Dawn, medicine, hot tea, dazed.

lifes a zoo,

and the zoo sucks. Haha especially when there aren't any elephants, giraffes, and hippotototamatotmusses to see :(
But overall today was entertaining. Woke up early and was so tired. I kept telling myself "FIVE MORE MINUTES" but then a text woke me up eventually. Forgot to throw on a sweater cause I thought I was late and jumped into the car. The bus ride there took forever but it was fun sitting with Alexis and Bianca. We finally get there and guess what? The best thing ever .. FREE STUFFF! FREE FOOD, FREE DRINKS, FREE SCHOOL SUPPLIES, YOU NAME IT :) Oh and it was nice walking for a good cause, haha. I almost won Simon Says on stage which was quite embarrassing but its okay, aha second place is as good as first :] But I wanted to punch the guy. He was so mean.
MEAN GUY :"What's your name?"
RANDOM LITTLE ASIAN GIRL: "Ashley."
MEAN GUY: "What a pretty name! Too bad. You're out."
Sooooo sad. I wanna hunt him down and sue him one day hahaa.
Bus ride back was exciiiiiiting. I slept the whole way and woke up and saw that everyone was knocked out. Good day good day. Tomorrows sceduale: Rest, rest, rest, oh & hw. Plus catching up on some good reading. Gbye!

"its impossible to meet halfway, sometimes you just need to take that extra step for something you really want"

bitter bitter bitter

girls are so manipulativetable

i've finished my summer book assignments and everything which is good cause now i getta read anyanyany book i want! i'm really excited, haha nerd. today was the healthy kids performance. it went wellllll cept that my feet hurt so bad and i was so thirsty and apparently i can't go an hour without water. good stuff cleans my system :p

i feel like i'm back in elementry school not being able to make up my mind
chasing things that don't chase back
starts with i
ends with nfatuation.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KEN GUZMAN.
MY NEIGHBOR, MY NUDGE NUGEE, MMMMMM that's what i'm talkin bout.
rap battles on aim, singing to nsync, deep talks, brenda song, sneaking out at 2 am, random gifts, brownies that you made for me, pencils, meeting eachother even when it was raining, looong messages, grounded on vday, trying to be bffllllzzz with my mom, carls jr., ohmy ohmy. happy happy eighteenth.


siiiiiilllllllllllllllly boy.

It's going around,

the cold, flu, everything.
I think I might be getting sick since everyone around me is. I had a really bad headache the entire day I don't even feel like working. All I have been thinking about is sleep. Sounds like a dream. So lately I've been addicted to that aloe vera shit. Goddamn it's amaaaaazing. I sneak it into water bottles cause all my teachers are real anal about drinks other than water in class.
I'm already really sick of school and tired of everything! And its only September. I took Summer for granted, seriously. But then I'm glad about how everything is now.
Some boy stole this other guys notebook in my class yesterday. It made me sad and I would so say something but then that guy would know that it was my friend who told me because she was the only one he told. Ughhhhhhhh I get so frustrated with that. And plus, he's like a dumbass so I don't even know why he'd be in my AP class.

I
feel
like
I'm
stuck in
be tween.

I've learned

to appreciate things so much more. Things, people, you name it.
I've learned to be more optimistic and to think of how lucky I am.
I've learned to not expect so much because things come gradually in time.

I'm exhauuuusted but still have an AP Euro test tomorrow that I need to do some hxc studying on tonight.


"the more you pushed me away, the more i ran. i couldn't stand being hurt most by the one i loved. i thought that if we kept running in circles, we'd meet somewhere; but i got lost before i could find my way back."

HAH i need to focus on studying now .. after I finish downloading music.

darn

ohwhat ?

i love being a daddy's girl. i love my dad so much but i hate him sometimes cause he gets all philosophical and shit. and so i persuaded him to get me a nikon d40 for christmas and he said only if i get a 3.8 or above on this coming report card. duuuuude. AND i'd be able to get a nikon d50 if i get a 4.1 with my oh so lonely one AP class. better get to the books if i ever wanna get my babies!

so lately i haven't had the patience or time to deal with anyone
i think i need to step up my game or whatev cause this isn't working for me anymore
i can't just turn my head everytime something unfortunate comes my way
so starting from now: if i care enough about something, i'll do something about it
not just let it slip through my fingers
kick myself in the face if i don't do it, its about time!

this has been stuck in my head all day


GUILTY.

Happy Saturday

Mmm yesterday was fulla stuff.
- 0 period, tired as shiiiit
- found out I got an A on my AP Euro test. cool.
- Pinkberry w/ KSy
- took the bus 'all the way around' haha
- saw the weird guy that checks me out while making out with his girlfriend, and thinks hes all hardcore dancing around the bus. stupid freshman. ( btw, i've waited forev to say that ha)
- back to school early and chilled in the dance room
- football game so tiring and my throats sore -.-
- took Bryan home
- back home and straight into bed<3

This morning I woke up around 9:30 ish and went with my mom to go get her car fixed up and then we went to Ralphs to buy 6 different flavors or ice cream PLUS enough Arizona to feed the school. Came home, ate, and washed the dishes. I officially love it when my parents go ' are you my daughter?' cause I do something that suprises them :) makes me happy.

I've been so frustrated since last night when I found out some shit that I thought was actually over with, but guess not! Man it makes me mad when people are fake straight to my face. You know I've never had to deal with stuff like this. I used to never have to. I never thought I would have thought I'd have to. I'm just not that type of girl that things like this happens to. Basically, this can't be happening .. all over again. Back to the beginning?

1. haha i think its funny how immature we are. wait, scatch that. were.
2. i find it sad i 'supposedly' can't tell you everything
3. i love you.

Woke up late again. My iPod players my alarm clock these days and I think its retarded now. Didn't ring until 6:30 but good thing my mom was there to wake me up!
Tried marking large lyrical but its kinda sorta hard walking around following Alexis! HAHAH :)

School was school. I found out I lost my bag w/ my jeans but hopefully Trish finds it for me! My favorite jeans .. :( And I lost my espanol diccianario. Screw me for losing everything. Mm yay but Bianca sits next to me in Spanish so that'll be fun.

After school, went to Fratelli's for pizza and got deliiiiiiiiiiicious ice cream. Yummay.

Tomorrows the first football game of the year, excited? Eh! We're gonna lose like always -.-
AP Euro shit due tomorrow and I'm halfway done. Peeeeeezout.

w0w0w0w

"happy?"
"shocked is more like it."

Super duper hungry right now and working on my english homework. Completely pointless stuff, and there's an in class essay tomorrow =/ So I guess I'm in varsity now? Woww. I'm glad, I'm good, and I'd like to see you smile more often even though you wouldn't care what I thought.

might as well

since I'm on.
Practice went well, I'm on small :) Waking up even earlier than usual tomorrow cause I have to learn my new section, eh. My AP Euro teacher is seriously insane. She keeps talking and talking about cheating and students that fail their AP exams and alla that useless stuff and then at the end of class, she goes " Wow, you guys spent so much time talking we only have 2 minutes left " and she calls me a disturbance -_- 'The Bobby' haha changed from Shrek to Poncho to MarkyMark to yadaydadaaaa! I love it, haha. Just had fish tacos w/ my dear ol' mom and taught her to say "I'm down w/ that" hahahahahaha. I drink so much water now its not even funny. Like I crave water sooooo bad every hour. So I guess I'll go drink some now. Cheers.

1. I love how all that's left to say is 'fuck you'.

Take it easy!

Done w/ approximately 78% of my homework. Kept going downstairs for wahhhhhtor like 4 times and then just opened the fridge and stared, hahahaha. Gossip Girl tonight! But might miss it cause Andrea's coming over to use the computer? Maybe. So many things are getting annoying. I'm not even on it, gahhhhhhhh. This year is really a dissappointment even though I'd known from the beginning it'd be not so great. But most of the time I'm wrong, or something completely different happens but in this case I don't wanna be right. I feel like I need to hold on to what I have and not let go no matter what because man, I'm not even sure wrong from right from left from up from down. It's all a big ol' mess thats worth cleaning up. But wow, I've already taken the first sweep. Your turn.

All I do is rant,

and so I basically concluded that I need a new blog. A whopping 44 posts seems enough for me! Plus I started that blog when I was at rock bottom. And now I'm going back up, so I kinda decided for myself that I'd start over.
Woke up bright & early and cleaned my room for 2 hours. I had the sudden urge to do so, plus my mom had already started for me and I felt guilty about her doing all of it so I helped. I found so much old shit from like elementary school and middle school. Jeez. Found mine and Andrea's 'Dance Book' where we made up all these silly dances like the Pea Dance. HAHAHAH. I miss that so much. I semi-started my homework, but today I wasn't really in the mood to. Napped for a while in my parent's room and then woke up to practice the piano. My fingers were literally stiff and numb for having not played for 4 weeks. My phones dying. The T9 buttons won't even work anymore and my mom won't get me a new one for a few months. I'm not gonna spend my own money on that so I suppose I'll wait. Just had sushi , mmmmmmmmm so good. Food makes my day literally. So bad I know and I'm even trying to not gain any weight. But I wanna grow so bad. Being 5'1 AND A HALF really isn't enough :( Plus I'd probs be a dissappointment to my parents even though they're little people too.

Went to the Americana for the first time in 4 weeks yesterday but all I did was go to Barnes and Noble to get books. Haha freak. I felt really bad cause this lady was helping me look for a book, and I didn't know she was prego the whole time until she had to bend over. Ooops, and I made her walk around the whole building .. twice.

I really should start on Ch. 30 SPRITE notes, which are gonna be killer. I'm probably gonna procrastinate and all but I promised myself and my parents that I'd focus so I guess I will.

My mom called me 'Alice in Wonderland' like five times in the car today cause she thinks I don't care about anything and that I'm totally blind from paying attention to anything that's going on. Jeez mom, thanks.