black and blue,

Just had homemade spamasubi right now, yuummmm. My favorite. Especially when my mom cuts the spam into little shapes for me :) Does L&L do that?! Don't think so!

I kinda noticed that my blogging style changed, can't really describe it but yaknowww how it is! How pathetic am I, blogging about blogging. Okay shutup.

School was school and I can't wait til Halloween even though our costumes are going to be absolutely a;sdlkfj;alksdjf! Idk what to do. I need to sew my patches on tonight. Hope it comes out alright. After school finished up the buyback then had practice. My god new stunt today. I pushed myself to get it, and I got it :D even though my rolling is completely out of proportion and I can picture things in my head but it just doesn't come out. Haha practice makes perfect which comes with paiiiiin. Total of 5 new huge bruises and sore muscles. I can't even type! Blah.

Anyways, I told my mom that I needed to think today. And she was all 'think about what?' I told her that I needed to think about how to become a better person for myself. Not for anyone else. She told me that I'm a good girl. Aww.

I'm really trying my hardest in everything. And I want to improve so much. But maybe my mindset is correct this time around. Or was it ever was?

Gotta break this habit.

woah, back it up

My headache is killin me and I feel like my stomachs gonna blow into a millin tiny little pieces -.-

I should go before I throw up.
G'bye.

just take it in

When I have something to tell you, just listen. I look back on everything and I realize that I have made my share of mistakes but so have you. When people say things will get better, they're actually right. I'm just so scared that I'm going to end up as the person I least want to be. Can you honestly say you'll be there to the end or will you walk away when I need you there the most. Are honestly someone to trust when I need someone to trust or to even hold my hand or have one arm around when I'm breaking down. You need to deal with yourself before you can deal with me because I know what you've dealt with. Worst of all, you haven't even owned up to any of it. Life takes its toll and the part of being a better person is just for one fucking time, listening. Take a deep breath, take it in, and move on.

what now?

Hi mom :) Love you.

Super tired today. Woke up real early but was still a little late but it was fun cause all we did was stay around for the car wash. Cut fabric. And learned rest of large.
So lately I've been eating tons and tooooons. Ugh asdlkfja; why why why. I wish I had a really high metabolism, whatever. Eating makes me happy haha so I'll eat. Friends are a mess right now. I don't even know what to do =/ Maybe I'm just heartless.

I needa break.

better together

ENJOY.

Everythings out of proportion. Too lazy to complain.
Practice for 9 hours tomorrow, woopdeedoo. kbye.

??

I dont' know if I should do it. Should I? But I'm nervous. I will. But I can't! I have to. I really do. But I have second thoughts. Are so many questions .. normal? I'm not normal. This is normal. Being nervous is normal. OKAY its normal. But I'm still nervous. Who gives a flying shit. I'll do it.

peachy keen

YESTERDAY+TODAY

I got my D40 yesterday! You don't know how exciting it was. I'm so happy and was super suprised when my dad was down to go buy it right then and there. Jeez. Gonna bring it to school tomorrow for the first time and have Ksy teach me all the loops and turns of it. Besides that, yesterday was a burn. The whole weekends homework dumped on just 1 day. Glad I even got out alive.

Today was freakydeaaaaaky. My pencil case that I thought was lost came outta nowhere in the drill office. WTF. Anyways, whatever day. Cold weathers a comin' OH BOY OH BOY!

1. I know your rep. Don't even try. Not interested. Period.

Pictures from the Halloween dance.
Only 2 decent ones outta the 5465411 (:

BOUT TIME

I updated. This past week was theeeee best but today totally killed the goodweek streak.
Woke up super early to take the PSAT and it was supahh easy. I really thought I was gonna bomb that shit but I'm pretty confident besides the fact I didn't have time to go over my answers =/
Later that day, dentist appointment = PAIN PAIN PAIN
After that, Mom took me out for lunch/dinner which was nice and I had frozen yogurt and delicious spanish tea w/ ice cream. mm.

Pictures from this past week :

Cute little Bianca and Sarah aka Ms. I have a hc date

One of the few I can carry on my back 30 sec +

My feet are crooked.

Don't mess with us
NEVER EVER READY

THUG LIFE.
Me, Mr. I have a hc date, and Jann :)

OH BTW! I'M GETTING EITHER A D40x or a D50, I'm so excited.
G'BYE.

Day 3 meow

I think I'm getting sick :( Probably cause of all the weather changes and shit.
It feels like Halloween, I officially love dressing up everyday and today was my favorite. Haha the boys looked so funny though.

Lotsa pictures from today/yesterday but I'm waiting for em cause I never use my camera anymore .. waiting for my new one which hopefully comes soon!

Tomorrows the Halloween dance, and it still hasn't hit me yet, but I have a vibe thats its gonna be fun. I'm gonna be a sailooooooor. Ahoy.

wtf okay bye

day 1

It's amazing how I can walk away from you and not look back anymore
One small step for a girl, but one giant leap to forgetting

And here's to life

Life doesn't always give you what you want when you want. It's never no. Just not now. It's not possible to have who you want, or be with who you want. But you can always be who you want. You can dream big and go for it and it'll make you an even better person in the long run.

if you get a chance, take it. if it changes your life, let it.

To Do List :
AP Euro Sprite notes - DONE
Study for AP Euro test tomorrow
Study for Chem
Do extra credit for Chem
Study Spanish vocab and hw
Melrose with mom - DONE

-- edit

Back home nowwwww. Got my sailor costume and 'peasant' dress, socks and cardigan from AA and guesssssss what? My god I saw the cutest guy in the world. Hair up with a little gel and a black AA jacket, black jeans, and old white converse. A;SKDFJA;SKLFJ so cute. I kept giving eye contact and he asked me if I needed help. Twice. But he was probably like just a little too old for me .. blah oh well. I'm probably gonna go there on another Sunday just to see him again :)
Good day , fin.

what happens when you give it your all

and nothing comes back.
What happens when you try so hard, but never end up getting what you deserve. So many questions. No real answers.
People tell me that I give the best advice, but who's there this time when I'm the one in need of the advice?

Woke up at 6:45, got ready, got outta the house.
After R.D. White we walked to Sarah's house to ditch some people then went to Starbucks and Trader Joes. Mmm caramel frap w/ xtra caramel and whipped cream, blue potato chips, rust tasting chocolate bananas, and chocolate mochi<333 Haha had the craziest adventures at school today. Who knew that it would be so fun sitting across the street from school on an apple then climbing over and almost falling to your death and having tayne and gretchen have to help you, pause, getting into the asb room and turning off all the lights when francis loses his glasses lens, pause, writing scary newspaper articles upstairs and talking to greta about college? Haha, that was my day in one sentence.

Myspace should add the mood: problematical.

tgif

tgif tgif tgif!
Who knew high school could be so exhausting, I didn't. Today was the perfect definition of a lazy day at home. I've been out of it lately and always so tired! Everyone thinks I'm energetic every second every day but I'm naaahhht! Maybe cause I always fall asleep in English when we read The Miracle Something Something HAHA. Mmm well went home ate Cup o' noodles, apple juice, a giant peach. Watched 2 episodes of The Hills. Knocked out for 3 hours. Yeah and now I'm up and upset cause I didn't get to finishing hw like I planned. FML.

You tell me when I’m being an arrogant son of a bitch

and I tell you when you’re a pain in the ass, which you are, 99% of

the time. I’m not afraid to hurt your feelings.
You have like a two-second

rebound rate, then you’re back doing the next pain-in-the-ass thing

And so I'm saying it for the last time. I'm done I'm done I'm done. Not worth it. Not all over again.

I really want my camera soon. Pronto. My dad's being a sunuvabitch and won't get it for me right now. I wanna take pictures so I guess I'll bring my gay digital camera around more often until I get my D40<3 :( But grades are probably in the mailbox right now, but I'm too lazy to go outside in the cold to get it. Fuck.

Sunday I'm going shopping w/ my mom at Melrose. Hope things go as planned, cause I really want a day with her.

2 a day

I think it's harder being a boy than what everyone thinks. I'd probably have no game if I were a guy with no girl experience. I mean, I guess I can't really expect much cause boys are boys. And they're all the same. I wish they weren't, but no one has proved me wrong unfortunately. All I see are girls crying for the same reason over and over each day and sometimes I just sigh a breath of relief that I don't have the heartbreak. But you know what the thing is?


Sometimes I want the heartbreak.

HI I'M FIONA

and I can't make up my mind, the more I look the more I hate. The more I hate the more I want.

I should live my life better. Maybe buying a golden retriever puppy from a man on the street named Hofi and eating endless amounts of mint chocolate chip ice cream for 1.99 will do the trick.

dumb ol' me,

gr0ss.

I forgot my password to this for 2 days and just figured it out and now I'm so frustrated!

I bombed my AP Euro test.
I got my headstand today.
Tomorrow's 100 degrees and we have to wear long sleeves.
Tomorrow's picture day and English is the last period -_-
F MY LIFE.

1. Ughhhhhhhhh just stop. STOP!
2. Haha wow is all I can say.

part time lover,

I think I never really stop caring.
It's those things I can't understand or figure out that make me want the most. It's those things that I want but know I can't have, do but don't have enough inside of me. Maybe one day I'll learn to let go but I hope one days soon because this doesn't feel good. One day all my insecurities and worst fears will come and grab me around the neck and I won't know what to do because I'm helpless.
Boy, I have a lot to grow.

Today was just an ordinary day. Nothing special except that we have to learn this Armenian Dance and it's really funny. I'm excited for it cause I think it'll be quite interesting, hah! After school Jann, Nina, and I went to Ralphs and I got sushi and chocolate milk w/ caramel, mm mm mm! Back to practice but all I did was hw and laugh a lot. HAH OMG WOW.

I should do my hw, so goodbye

The air

is crisp.
My feet are cold.
The heaters on.
Feels like winter. Shit.

Woke up really early and rolled outta bed. Great way to start the day hunh?
Never out and about anymore. Always either home/hw or school/drill.

I want one of you for each day of the week.

Killin' it!

I've been sleeping awkwardly late this week. Last night I only had 4 hours of sleep which is a record for me, cause normal for me is around 7 hours but thats still not enough. I really don't even have time to sleep in on the weekends anymore! :(

Schools been a draaaaaaaaaag and I've been stressing out like a mothafuckaaaaa. Not good cause its barely October. The first rallys tomorrow, pretty exciting. Then the el futbol americano game. Should be good since we're 3-0 for the first time in years.. wait, decades.

Everythings been in place and everything thats been loose have been slipped back in. I'm glad with where things are now and damn have I changed. Alls good in love and war!

toodle oooooo!